11 months from when I left for Thailand, and I still haven't posted my Thailand photo set. I wish I liked post processing as much as I like taking the pictures...

Last lingering days of fall slipping by...savoring every splash of color, from gold-red-orange-yellow leaves to patches of blue sky...life is beautiful.

One of the lovely ancient Buddha images at the Sukhothai Historical Park in Thailand. Still working my way through all of the photos I shot in Thailand, and hope to get them posted soon.

Sukhothai is a lovely historical park in northern Thailand. The ruins (with many beautiful Buddha images) are around 800 years old. This was the first place I visited after leaving Bangkok, after traveling by train via the town of Phitsanulok. This image is a couple of Thai teens sharing a lunch at the park, with one of the many mangy feral dogs that roam the park hovering over their shoulders attentively.

Early stages of researching my next travel adventure show that my daily budget for Barcelona, Spain will probably have to be about three times my daily budget for SE Asia (and that's still traveling backpacker-hostel-style.) Wow! I still have my heart set on Barcelona, especially since I've never been to Europe, but I'm thinking that after this trip, my sights will probably return to developing countries, where my travel dollars go further (and are needed more.) India? Indonesia? Vietnam? Central or south America? I don't know, but I love the dreaming and researching...

Still working my way through last winter's Thailand photos, but hope to get a set posted within the week.

"Silence is an empty space, space is the home of the awakened mind." - Buddha

While I managed to get my Laos, Cambodia, and Andaman Sea scuba diving photos posted in a timely manner, I'm just now getting back around to working through the set from Thailand. Thanking the rainy weather and introverted fall for the quiet artistic moments, while dreaming and scheming up my next travel adventure...

"What am I bringing to the Temple this year?"

Every time I neared the spectacular Temple of Transition at Burning Man 2011, I asked myself this question. "What am I bringing"? "What am I leaving?" "What do I need to let go of that no longer serves me?" "What am I manifesting for my future?" "What are my dreams and visions?"

I walked through the temple almost every day, this question lingering. The temple is alive with the radiating energy of the thousands who have brought their greatest and most potent issues for the year. Every wall bears photos of loved ones who have passed. Poems and letters are tucked into every crevice. Ashes, prayers, hopes, tears, ambitions, intentions, grief, and joy, barely contained by the marvelous and sacred walls that are the Temple of Transition, soon to be burned, released. But what do I bring to the Temple this year?

Every year it is something. I've left ashes of loved ones who have passed, and ashes of relationships that also passed. I've left notes of my ambitions and dreams, intentions for my personal growth, and prayers for those I love. But this year, I was oddly puzzled. What am I bringing to the Temple this year?

On my last visit, the evening before the Temple was set to blaze, it dawned on me: gratitude. I am so grateful not to have any ashes to bring to the temple this year. I'm grateful to be alive, vibrant, and healthy. I'm grateful that my loved ones are well and happy. I'm grateful to be at a place in my career that requires very little of me except to show up and do what I love. I'm grateful to be in a place of personal power and self-knowledge. I'm grateful to live in a beautiful home in a beautiful city. I'm grateful to have an amazing community of soulful, creative, and fascinating friends. I'm grateful for having a mind that is always learning, a body that is strong and capable, and a world full of new interests to explore. I'm grateful for the world travel that I've always wanted and am finally making happen. I'm grateful to be loved and accepted just as I am. And I'm grateful to realize that all I really need to be doing right now is enjoying this sweet life that I have created. It's all so good...

My photos from Burning Man 2011 are up at Flickr.

The spectacular White Wat (Wat Rong Khun) in Chain Rai, Thailand, created by the Thai modern artist Chalermchai Kositpipat. The entire Wat is white, and it is unlike anything else I saw in Thailand. The interior is painted with wild visionary scenes that are a mix of traditional Buddhist images (Buddhas, lotuses, etc), but interspersed are scenes from all kinds of other mythology, including current science fiction (for example, Darth Vader, and Neo from The Matrix). There is one scene that shows the Twin Towers with an airplane crashing into them, with a fuel line snaking out of the tail and around the tower, which morphs into a two-headed monster. Surreal, and brilliant. The entire complex won't be completed until 2070!

Submitted for Photo Friday: Primary Color.

My photo set from Cambodia (Siem Reap & Angkor Wat) is now up at flickr.com.

The following is something I wrote from my guesthouse room in Siem Reap, Cambodia, on February 12, 2011. This was originally posted as a note on Facebook.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Im not ready for Cambodia.

I arrived in Siem Reap yesterday morning, greeted by sweltering heat and humidity like I've never before encountered, and faced almost immediately the grim realities of this country's terriblely recent horrible history and current economics. The neighborhood where most of the guesthouses are is hevily touristed, and thus also heavily and aggressively canvassed by limbless booksellers, hoards of skinny children selling bracelets and postcards, and an endless curb-full of tuk-tuk drivers trying to sell me a ride on every block. The disabled cary signs that state they lost their limbs to land mines or fighting the Khmer Rouge. There are far too many of them.

I've come here to visit Angkor Wat, an enormous set of anciet Khmer ruins that is called the "8th wonder of the world" by books, and the foreign tourists feed close to all of the region's economy. The ruins are fantastic, but it is impossible to walk more than a few hundred yards through them without myriads of vendos ruthelsessly trying to sell $1 cokes, poorly-made clothing, and a varity of handicrafts and foods.

I am a sucker for the children. I have more postcards than I'll ever write and pockets full of cheap bracelets. They speak outstanding English (which they learn from tourists, not school), and they have their selling tactics down to a fine art. First they are cheerful and friendly, and they smile and joke and rattle of streams of fats about America after asking where I'm from ("in America, you have 50 states, it is very big, the capitol is Washington D.C.!"...) But when I say no, they quickly turn to pouty and lay on a serious guilt trip. My gut wreches every time, but when I explain that I couldn't possibly use another post card, they retort with "ÿou bought them from someone else, why you not buy one from me?" My heart breaks constantly.

My pocketbook is draining quickly and I'm definitely over budget for these few days. I cannot bring myself to barter for anything. It seems ridculous to quibble with these people over what to me amounts to pocket change, or a latte. Even though tipping is not the norm here, I cant help but leave generous tips. The tuk-tuk driver who spent 8 hours escorting me around the ruins charged me $12. $12! I do not know if all of that goes into his pocket or if he has a boss to pay. The children all tell me they have to pay their bosses and the police (?!) out of their proceeds. When i ask when they will become the boss, they look at me strangely, as though the idea is perposterous.

And while some things in Camboida are cheap compared to home, it is quite expensive compared to Thailand, or even Laos (which was twice as spendy as Thailand). But in Thailand the Thai tourists vastly outnumber the foreign ones, and a middle class is evident everywhere; there are no Cambodian tourists. In Laos, also one of the poorest countries on the planet, at least I had the strong sense that the money I spent went directly to family businesses and local crafts-people. I don't get the sense that most Cambodians are working for themselves. The pace and ways in Laos were slow, peaceful and warm; Siem Reap is grimy, edgy, and aggressive.

I had planned to make Phnom Penh, the capitol, my next stop, but even the thought of visiting the Killing Fileds makes a lump swell in my throat. I know that I cannot bear it, and I have instead booked a flight to Krabi, Thailand for the day after tomorrow. I feel like I'm running away from something, but I know in my heart it is something I am not ready for. I will instead esape to some island paradise hang my hammock and find some sweet hippie kids to play the guitar with. If I cannot handle Siem Reap, a town with made-for-tourist comforts, I know I cannot handle Phnom Penh.

I would like to have experienced more of Cambodia. I feel that if I'd come here earlier in my trip I'd have done much better here. But I've been 3 and 1/2 weeks now moving every few days (a little over two weeks in northern Thailand, a week in Laos, and now a few days in Siem Reap), and I'm completely exhausted, and emotionally spent. My ankle is healing, but climbing around ancient ruins and runing around SE Asia with a pack on my back is not exactly restorative. I need to put my foot up, be still, and get some perspective on my emotions. At some point I will figure out how I can really help the people here a bit (I don't think it's by buing $1 magnets from their children.)

I think of my life at home and am filled with gratitude to have had the fortune to be born when and where I was. A great deal of the Cambodian's agonizing history has hapened during my lifetime. This is sobering.

I am not homesick or lonely, but I think about you all a great deal. My family and my community are such blessings to me, and I love you all very much. I feel your arms and your hearts reaching around me from the other side of the world.

Sorry for the typos and errors. The this computer screen is a dark shade of fuscia, and the words apper on screen 30-60 seconds after I write them, so editing is not happening...

Blessings
Dawn

Photo set from Laos is here, and Diving in the Andaman Sea in Thailand is here. Next up: the rest of Thailand...

A photo set from my five days of diving in the Andaman Sea in Thailand is up at Flickr. These are all taken with a couple of tiny Canon point & shoot cameras (SD800 & S95), and are mostly shot with natural light/no flash.

My set from Laos is here.

Still to come: Cambodia and Thailand!

My photo set from Laos is now up at Flickr.

I really love this photo of the lady and the monk in Vientiane, Laos. They stood there for a very long time, talking quietly, keeping a respectful distance from each other, never making eye contact or directly facing each other. Their demeanor and energy was gentile and spoke, perhaps, of unrequited romance. I sensed history of some kind between them. It struck me as such a sweet scene.

Laos wasn't the first place I traveled on my journey, but I took the least number of photos there, so I chose that set to start with. The task of editing the total 2400 photos from my entire trip seemed daunting, so I broke it down by country. Next sets to come include Thailand, Cambodia & Angkor Wat, and a dive trip through the Similan Islands in Southern Thailand. These sets are all much bigger and so they may take me a while to get through them. But I hope to have them all up shortly. I haven't even looked at all of them yet, though.

Submitted for Photo Friday: Elaborate.

I'm now two weeks home from my travels in Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia, and people keep asking me what I learned on my trip. I'm really at a loss about how to answer that questions. I didn't set out with a mission, wasn't having a mid-life-crisis, wasn't trying to "find myself," and wasn't seeking god. I had virtually no expectations, and was open to whatever the experience offered. And while I did get a lot out of it, it's still hard to generalize about the trip as a whole, as in my mind, it's a long string of different chapters, as different things were on my mind at different times.

There were definitely a few themes that came up over and over, though. I thought a lot about privilege (my luck at being born when and where I was), poverty (Laos and Cambodia are two of the poorest nations on the planet), and wealth (luxury resorts and tourism everywhere). I thought a lot about sustainability (is Thailand's massive tourist economy sustainable, for example, when nearly all of the country's power comes from diesel generators, and they don't have the infrastructure in place to deal with the waste stream?) And I thought mostly about my personal impact in the world, both negative and positive.

I became very aware of the privileges I have simply by virtue of being born when and where I was. After all, it's just luck draw, right? I could have been born in Cambodia in 1969 and endured the brutalities of the Khmer Rouge and Vietnam War, instead of enjoying my peaceful suburban upbringing in Bellevue, Washington. Watching the tiny bamboo-hut villages roll by outside my bus window in northern Laos, I realized that I probably had more wealth just in my one cary-on-sized backpack than an entire Laoation family owns. I constantly struggled with something akin to surviver's guilt...how is it that I am a tourist on vacation in a place where most people will never even step foot outside of their own country (or in some cases, village)?

The thing that kept resonating with me was a strong desire to spend my tourist money in the most directly-local, directly-to-the-people manner possible. This meant patronizing local restaurants, family guest houses, and local crafts-people. This meant avoiding luxury resorts & foreign-owned hotels and attractions. This meant paying more attention to the choices I was making on a daily basis. Because traveling through SE Asia like the average wealthy tourist started to feel really parasitic to me. I could no longer consume all of the best resources of someone else's country without considering what my impact was.

So ultimately, I did find something of spiritual importance on my trip: I reconnected with my youthful passions for social justice, sustainability, & the environment. And everything that applied in SE Asia applies at home too. I'm back to paying closer to attention to my footsteps in the world. I'm thinking about my impact, and ways to lessen my consumption and waste. I'm thinking about how I contribute positively to the world. For starters, I'm putting my money where my mouth is by buying local and organic foods and shopping at small businesses. So maybe I did find myself in SE Asia: I found my younger, more optimistic, more enthusiastic, more passionate self. It's good to be home.
*********
The photo is from The Bayon at Angkor Wat in Cambodia, a structure that is dominated by many faces of the Bodhisattva of Compassion (or the faces of King Jayavarman VII.) I took 2427 photos on my trip, and I still haven't even looked through more than half of them, so it's going to be a long time before I get any photo sets together...

Wat Rong Khun was my absolute favorite thing that I saw on my recent journey through Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos. It's just south of Chiang Rai, Thailand, and is designed by a modern Thai Bhuddist visionary artist, Chalermchai Kositpipat. Construction began in 1997 and isn't scheduled to be completed until 2070!

I've got some work to do editing before I'm ready to post my photos, but you can browse more of Wat Rong Khun on Flickr.

Sadly, photography is not allowed inside the temple, which is a shame, as the inside is painted with an unexpected mix of traditional Buddhist and Hindi images interspersed and overlaid with modern science fiction and political images. Picture superman and Buddha, Neo from The Matrix, and lotuses; somehow these images all fit together like pieces of a puzzle of darkness and light, good and evil. The most interesting section depicts the twin towers with an airplane crashing into them; out of the tail of one airplane snakes a fuel line, which winds around the towers before morphing into a two-headed monster. Absolutely surreal. I do have many photos of the exterior (which is exquisitely beautiful), but I really would have loved to have photographed the murals, too.

Submitted for Photo Friday: Turbulent.

Isabella (my brother's daughter), Ivy (my sister's daughter), & Zinnia (my step-brother's daughter).

Home Sweet Home.

Love.