Ta Prohm [Angkor, Siem Reap, Cambodia] Panasonic Lumix GF1 w/Lumix G Vario 14-140mm zoom
My photo set from Cambodia (Siem Reap & Angkor Wat) is now up at flickr.com.
The following is something I wrote from my guesthouse room in Siem Reap, Cambodia, on February 12, 2011. This was originally posted as a note on Facebook.
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Im not ready for Cambodia.
I arrived in Siem Reap yesterday morning, greeted by sweltering heat and humidity like I've never before encountered, and faced almost immediately the grim realities of this country's terriblely recent horrible history and current economics. The neighborhood where most of the guesthouses are is hevily touristed, and thus also heavily and aggressively canvassed by limbless booksellers, hoards of skinny children selling bracelets and postcards, and an endless curb-full of tuk-tuk drivers trying to sell me a ride on every block. The disabled cary signs that state they lost their limbs to land mines or fighting the Khmer Rouge. There are far too many of them.
I've come here to visit Angkor Wat, an enormous set of anciet Khmer ruins that is called the "8th wonder of the world" by books, and the foreign tourists feed close to all of the region's economy. The ruins are fantastic, but it is impossible to walk more than a few hundred yards through them without myriads of vendos ruthelsessly trying to sell $1 cokes, poorly-made clothing, and a varity of handicrafts and foods.
I am a sucker for the children. I have more postcards than I'll ever write and pockets full of cheap bracelets. They speak outstanding English (which they learn from tourists, not school), and they have their selling tactics down to a fine art. First they are cheerful and friendly, and they smile and joke and rattle of streams of fats about America after asking where I'm from ("in America, you have 50 states, it is very big, the capitol is Washington D.C.!"...) But when I say no, they quickly turn to pouty and lay on a serious guilt trip. My gut wreches every time, but when I explain that I couldn't possibly use another post card, they retort with "ÿou bought them from someone else, why you not buy one from me?" My heart breaks constantly.
My pocketbook is draining quickly and I'm definitely over budget for these few days. I cannot bring myself to barter for anything. It seems ridculous to quibble with these people over what to me amounts to pocket change, or a latte. Even though tipping is not the norm here, I cant help but leave generous tips. The tuk-tuk driver who spent 8 hours escorting me around the ruins charged me $12. $12! I do not know if all of that goes into his pocket or if he has a boss to pay. The children all tell me they have to pay their bosses and the police (?!) out of their proceeds. When i ask when they will become the boss, they look at me strangely, as though the idea is perposterous.
And while some things in Camboida are cheap compared to home, it is quite expensive compared to Thailand, or even Laos (which was twice as spendy as Thailand). But in Thailand the Thai tourists vastly outnumber the foreign ones, and a middle class is evident everywhere; there are no Cambodian tourists. In Laos, also one of the poorest countries on the planet, at least I had the strong sense that the money I spent went directly to family businesses and local crafts-people. I don't get the sense that most Cambodians are working for themselves. The pace and ways in Laos were slow, peaceful and warm; Siem Reap is grimy, edgy, and aggressive.
I had planned to make Phnom Penh, the capitol, my next stop, but even the thought of visiting the Killing Fileds makes a lump swell in my throat. I know that I cannot bear it, and I have instead booked a flight to Krabi, Thailand for the day after tomorrow. I feel like I'm running away from something, but I know in my heart it is something I am not ready for. I will instead esape to some island paradise hang my hammock and find some sweet hippie kids to play the guitar with. If I cannot handle Siem Reap, a town with made-for-tourist comforts, I know I cannot handle Phnom Penh.
I would like to have experienced more of Cambodia. I feel that if I'd come here earlier in my trip I'd have done much better here. But I've been 3 and 1/2 weeks now moving every few days (a little over two weeks in northern Thailand, a week in Laos, and now a few days in Siem Reap), and I'm completely exhausted, and emotionally spent. My ankle is healing, but climbing around ancient ruins and runing around SE Asia with a pack on my back is not exactly restorative. I need to put my foot up, be still, and get some perspective on my emotions. At some point I will figure out how I can really help the people here a bit (I don't think it's by buing $1 magnets from their children.)
I think of my life at home and am filled with gratitude to have had the fortune to be born when and where I was. A great deal of the Cambodian's agonizing history has hapened during my lifetime. This is sobering.
I am not homesick or lonely, but I think about you all a great deal. My family and my community are such blessings to me, and I love you all very much. I feel your arms and your hearts reaching around me from the other side of the world.
Sorry for the typos and errors. The this computer screen is a dark shade of fuscia, and the words apper on screen 30-60 seconds after I write them, so editing is not happening...
Blessings
Dawn
Photo set from Laos is here, and Diving in the Andaman Sea in Thailand is here. Next up: the rest of Thailand...
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